Sunday, September 11, 2005
â 1:41 AM
exams are starting and as usual i'm getting distracted by all sorts of nonsense that i know shouldnt be distracting me at this critical time.we're half way thru our course.so happy man.but there's a part of me that's really dreading the end of school days.there's a part of me that's not quite ready to grow up yet.still want my daddy and mummy around.
i've come to realise that the older i get equates to them getting older too.was telling cynthia when we were in the car the other day and driving out to fetch someone on my birthday that for the first time in my life i realised that my father's not young anymore.the more i think about it the more guilty i get.guilty about the things i've done that've disappointed them.i sincerely think that all my life i just ride my way thru.i've never reali lived up to my potential.never push myself to the max.especially when it's in the classroom.
i hate disappointing people.i guess in a way i've disappointed my parents greatly.didnt make it to rgs.then in sec sch didnt make it to the tripple sci class.then after o's didnt do well enough to get in2 vj.then in tj didnt do the proper subject combi.a levels didnt do as well as i should.
sigh